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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Thinking Back

When I first started high school, I really had an awful time. There were so many new people, I had a hard time making friends, and I didn't know how to handle it. Every day for the first month I would work myself up so badly. I couldn't eat, I barely slept, and I was throwing up almost every single day. I had no idea how to handle what was going on. So I didn't handle it at all.

Freshman year of high school, I developed an awful habit of skipping school. I realized that if I had a note from a doctor or if I went to the nurse and told her what was going on, I could get out of it. Every single time, I felt guilty for not going to school. Don't be fooled, I wasn't an under achiever by any means. I kept up with all of my school work, I had A's in all of my classes all throughout high school. I just couldn't stand being there. Freshman year I looked into virtual school, and even dropping out; but thankfully neither of those two things ever happened. I just kept going to school, and I just kept skipping school.

Every year when school started the same thing would happen. I would be sick, anxiety would kick in, I didn't want to go. But my tricks never failed me. I kept going to the doctor and going to the nurse, and I would have my days off. I think every single year I racked up over 20 absences. But I was still getting A's. I was still on the honor roll.

When I came to college, I noticed that my anxiety wasn't as bad. I wasn't getting sick at all. There was nobody telling me that I had to go to class. It was my turn to decide: did I want to remain on the path I was on, or make a new one for myself?

I'm a junior in college now. Hardly even a year of classes left and I'll be graduated. My financial aid and I pay a great deal of money for this degree that I'll be awarded. Somebody, all of us, are paying for my education. When I'm walking across that stage and graduating with honors, I'll have myself to thank. I did this for myself. I made these changes.

So today I realized that if I'm going to leave this college with tens of thousands of debt, you know damn right that I'm going to give it my very best shot. And if you're here to try and hold me back from that, I'll kindly show you the way out.

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